The Struggle of Any Good Mom & Wife

I finished up the book I have been reading last night. It was an amazing book and I highly recommend it to anyone interested in reading something not too heavy but definitely impacting. Made me think a lot about myself and my life and how the things I do can impact others. The book is A Lotus Grows In The Mud by Goldie Hawn. Simply amazing.

Towards the end of the book (pg. 412-413) she has been talking about empty nest and how as parents we are to deal with that. This is not something I have experienced, but I know I will. I have seen my mother go through it and my friends' mothers, each of them dealing with it in their own way. In her book, Goldie says "The most frightening aspect for many people, especially women is the "What happens now?" She goes on to say that "one of the most important questions we are faced with at this time is the nature of our relationship with our partner. Losing our children to their new lives leaves us naked. We only have each other now." This is an interesting concept. I look at some of the people I know and I think about how much of their lives they dedicate to their children; how much they define themselves by their children. They are going to be hit hard with empty nest. Goldie points out that when we do this and then our children leave, "panic can set in" and we might not know how to deal with our relationship. She says that this doesn't have to happen though, that the key is to be aware that this time will come and that our children will (and should) leave our home to go and make their own. As husband and wife we cannot forget each other in the process.

I love my children dearly and I love to be a part of their lives and look forward to continuing to do so. That said, Robb and I need to make sure that we continue to enrich our relationship with special time just the two of us. We cannot give up every part of ourselves and our relationship for our children. If we do, what would we be teaching them. Robb and I used to have "date nights." We would have someone come and watch the girls and we would go for a walk or go work out together or go to a movie or dinner. We would do something just the two of us. We haven't done this lately and I have to say I miss it. I miss just him and me time. Although I love our time as a family, I know that this him and me time is important to making our family work. Not only does it give us each time to show the other why we love them, but it also shows our children that their parents are still in love with each other and still want to be together. This is important for when they get older and enter into a relationship of their own.

I encourage all you mothers out there to dedicate as much time to yourself and your relationship as you devote to your children. Because one day soon they will grow up and move on to their own independent life. If you have already prepared, then the question of "What happens now?" won't be so intimidating.